Depending on how you are feeling right now, this photo might look like a lovely sunset to celebrate the end of a great day or a vivid picture of the clouds of red mist that are circling within and around your head! 😊
 
So why does anger matter?
Anger matters as when it is not managed well it causes chaos in its path with both people and outcomes, as well as ‘burning’ the angry person themselves.
 
Anger leads to conflict, stress and poor results in every way.
 
The leadership strategy of dealing with anger well works best when it is all about management not control of anger. If you seek to control the anger it will simply ‘burn’ you up from within.
 
Why is anger there?
A useful start is to explore the root cause of why you are feeling this way. Anger is often called a secondary emotion as it nearly always follows another emotion which is the true root cause. Fear is the most common trigger emotion here. This means the anger follows as a type of protection for your fear even though it’s not a useful one!
 
Anger whether it be mild frustration/irritation to full on rage is always like any emotion - it’s there for a reason. When we seek to explore and understand it then it loses the power to control us.
 
Anger in the workplace
Anger in the workplace is often due to conflict. Conflict is an interesting area for both people and organisations as it has such a wide impact in several ways. There are key reasons why conflict is always likely:
 
Emotions - We as humans are essentially emotional beings and therefore we will (whether we acknowledge it or not) have an emotional response to any given situation. This means conflict can happen as everyone’s emotional response is different.
 
Logic - You then look at the rational brain and of course everyone’s experience, skills and knowledge are different so they will then have a different perspective and judgements from others which again can lead to conflict.
 
The common held leadership view is that conflict is a negative thing. Although in fact it is a normal occurrence as we are all individual beings with different perspectives, whether we are at home or in the workplace.
 
Managing conflict in the workplace
Conflict can often be a positive thing when used to gain better results for everyone. If there is no conflict, then people aren’t dealing with issues that automatically arise from being individuals.
 
The real issue is when conflict is not acknowledged or managed positively or when it is personally intended to cause hurt. This is when the negative impacts occur. For individuals, this can cause serious health and wellbeing issues and for organisations, it can cost business, relationships and long-term success.
 
A great awareness of your own leadership style and strengths is the first stage in improving conflict. The next stage of leadership here is being aware of the hot spots and therefore understanding the source. With both those insights choosing the right leadership tools to gain resolution becomes a lot easier.
 
Conflict hot spots in the workplace
The most common areas we see are:
 
Personality clashes
We all have very different personality types and these can simply mean people can’t naturally get along well. When further issues are added such as workplace deadlines, this natural barrier can become intense. A survey conducted by Forbes in 2015 demonstrated a nearly unanimous response that personality clashes were the number one reason for workplace disharmony.
 
An investment in leadership training and awareness in the areas of personality profiling, team design and emotional intelligence will help prevent and manage costly challenges here.
 
Bringing personal problems to work
Work is only one part of a person’s life. Any challenges outside of this can make work life difficult to virtually impossible for many people. Stress is something that costs millions in lost days and output for business and can cost individuals their health.
 
An investment in resilience training, awareness and support systems can help protect against this risk. More resilient employees means better performance overall for any business.
 
Bias
We all have positive or negative bias towards other people whether we recognise it or not. Our bias focus can range from all areas including religion, age, ethnicity, gender, disability, capability, background to education.
 
Some biases are clearly protected by law whilst others are less obvious. All bias means conflict is possible with this type of conflict being of a very sensitive and difficult nature to resolve.
 
A zero-tolerance atmosphere to biased behaviour plus bias/unconscious bias training alongside protocols are the best foundation to avoid conflict in this area. An investment in unconscious bias training plus awareness is very helpful here. Assertiveness training can also have value so people feel more confident and less aggressive when sharing different perspectives.

Jealousy
Any action, opportunities or workloads seen as unfair will quickly breed a very toxic atmosphere where conflict is likely to flourish.
 
Openness especially to feedback, transparency, clear protocols, sensitivity and great communication skills are needed here in all leaders. Mentoring can be a helpful tool here where it is set up as open to all.
 
Change
All businesses have to change in some way for both factors that are within their control as well as any external influences. This change can leave people feeling disengaged and threatened. Some examples are job security, restructuring and IT changes. The feelings here can trigger conflict very easily.
 
Openness, engagement, timing, support, training and explanation are all critical here. Leaders will get the best results by focussing on a positive outlook and highlighting the reasons for change, as any change can be stressful which is another trigger for conflict in itself.
 
Three golden rules for any conflict
 
1. Set boundaries - Everyone deserves to be treated with respect — even during a conflict and it’s ok for someone to have a different opinion to you. 
2. Truly listen – This is to: Find the Real Issue. Typically, arguments happen when one individual’s needs are not being met. These needs are often not clear unless you really listen. 
3. Compromise when possible – This looks like considering everything. If you can take a neutral viewpoint then it’s easier to think through all perspectives and possible solutions. 
 
Wishing you a happy and harmonious time ahead! 😊

I always find it interesting when I am delivering our leadership training which we share in very different leadership environments, how the same underlying issues appear. The quickest and easiest journey to high positivity, professionalism and performance is when leaders seek to really understand and lead themselves before leading others.

So often though these leaders realise through the training that they have forgotten who they actually are in the effort to fit into their organisational culture and become a leader within it. They’ve hidden their true colours.

To understand and lead yourself means many things. The top areas I see which have the most practical results for leaders are:

Understanding your own thoughts – Taking the time to really understand your thoughts in areas such as why the role matters to you, what you want to achieve with your role, what’s driving you and equally what might be holding you back.

If there is any conflict between what is actually happening around you and what you truly want then you will feel unsettled. Sometimes we unconsciously hide what we want and avoid thinking about it because deep down we know this means we probably have to make some difficult decisions. Mentoring and training are really valuable tools here.
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Managing your own thoughts – When you are being you and authentic that doesn’t mean sharing brutal honest comments the moment they pop into your mind. It’s being authentic in a positive way. So if you feel that something isn’t right then that means making sure that you’ve understood your own emotional response to the situation so you can share the issues in a positive way. If you are feeling in yourself a ‘grey’ day for example, then being authentic doesn’t mean explaining that to everyone in the office and spreading the gloom. It means seeking to understand why you feel the way you do. This takes practice and we cover these skills in detail in our resilience course.

Being assertive – This is about having the confidence to share your needs and to respect your thoughts, ideas and beliefs whilst respecting others too. If you don’t feel you can share your views then that is showing you cannot be yourself. Longer term this block will cause you low mood and the feelings of not being valued. You don’t have to swing your colours from the highest flagpole singing to be assertive 😊 It’s just about giving yourself permission and courage to share your input in a positive way. Leadership training can help here especially if you are lacking in confidence or have team challenges. .

Understanding your values – This is about exploring what is important to you and why is it important. Are your personal values in alignment with your leadership role and your work? If not, how can you shape or influence your work or start planning an exit to a role that is a better fit for how you feel? If you submerge your true colours to fit in then this leads to longer term disengagement and poor results for the organisation and very likely stress related symptoms in yourself. How you feel is just as important as to how you think. If you’ve made a logical decision and overridden how you feel the red mist of annoyance is likely to be firing away! There are always other Career options to explore rather than burning away.

Understand your skills and knowledge – Have you taken time to review what works for you? What are you naturally good at? Where are your colours sparkling? Are your talents visible and recognised by the team? What areas are really hard work for you? What learning goals do you have? How does this all fit with what your role needs? If you have any areas where you feel you have insufficient knowledge, skills or time to achieve them compared to your inner resources then that is very likely to lead to stress. On the opposite side if you have great experience and skills then by using them through a structured mentoring programme you can gain even deeper leadership skills, satisfaction and help others too.

Happy Leadership 😊

We were delighted here when one of our clients, James Turner, heard the news that he had been chosen as a finalist at the Enterprise Excellence Awards. We had nominated James after supporting him with our Enterprise Leadership Training and Mentoring Programmes at different stages of his work and plans. The Institute of Enterprise and Entrepreneurs (IOEE) Awards event is a high profile one that is held at the House of Lords. The awards are attended by leading people and organisations in the business world to celebrate and recognise the very best in enterprise learning and skills.

James is a finalist in the Enterprising Learner category along with two other finalists from UK Universities. The Award recognises individuals who have demonstrated a passionate focus on their learning programme with key results in applying their new skills in enterprising activities.
 
James said, "It is an honour to be nominated as a finalist in the IOEE Annual Awards. I am grateful to Leapfrog Mountain for the invaluable mentoring and training that I have received on my professional journey and I look forward to continuing my learning with this fantastic organisation as I strive to achieve my goals whilst setting a positive example.”
 
James ‘The Dragon’ Turner is an award-winning martial artist who now supports others in their fitness goals as a personal trainer. He shows the power of a portfolio career as he also works and supports his family business Karrek Financial Planning.

He recently received the Guest of Honour trophy at the Best of the Best 2019 Intercontinental Kick Thai Boxing Association. He has been using his learnt skills to share the culture and passion of martial arts and to encourage people to recognise the value of fitness and sport at all levels.

James has brilliantly combined his martial arts ethos with his leadership and enterprise learning with us. I discussed with him earlier in the year about his mindset issues on setbacks. An extract of that interview is here:

JT:          I approach every day with a disciplined mindset with regards to what I want to accomplish.
 
You have to be adaptable to unexpected circumstances but it’s important to keep your mission in mind. I start my day with my 5-mile run and this is my first “victory” of the day; it sets the tone for productivity.
 
I set long and short-term goals, relating to whatever I’m working on at that time.
 
My overall mental approach is consistent. In any field, you are going to experience some setbacks. As a fighter, you have setbacks, mistakes, injuries and roadblocks.
 
With financial services, it’s just the same. I may aim to prepare a certain number of client information packs and I don’t, whether it’s due to circumstances out of my control, or poor planning on my part.
 
The important thing is that I learn from the experience. I try to learn from any setbacks and aim not to put myself in that position or make the same mistakes again. I then move forward with newly gained knowledge. An “indomitable spirit” is an important characteristic of the martial artist.
 
JJ:           With achievement being so important here, how do you deal with your feelings with any setbacks?”
 
JT:          I initially feel very disappointed because what I do means a lot to me. For example, in kickboxing: losing fights; missing opportunities to compete due to illness or injury; or my opponents being unable to compete for the same reasons.
 
In these situations, I’ve recognised that my setbacks weren’t through a lack of sincerity or effort, so the positive I could take from the situation was that with my passion and desire, I knew that I would do what it took to bounce back and win my next fight.
 
I’ve always learnt something from any setback, in any area of my life. Little by little, I’ve learned to get rid of the worry and anxiety and look at situations logically, which is important to be able to do when it’s something you’re passionate about. In those situations, emotions are liable to take too much control if you let them, so awareness is key.

James’ insights really tie in with our training on emotional intelligence and having a positive learning mindset. Using this approach to any setback enables you to develop and move forward with all your results and plans.

Wishing you all every growth success! 😊